


Ronnie Headcanons

by awkward_radar_tech



Series: A-R-T Answers Headcanons [6]
Category: The Dead Don't Die (2019)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2020-07-27 19:09:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 2,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20051083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkward_radar_tech/pseuds/awkward_radar_tech
Summary: A collection of answers to asks about Officer Ronald "Ronnie" Peterson.All asks will be in the beginning notes of each chapter.And each ask has the link to the original tumblr post at the bottom.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you seen the photos of Adam in that new Jim Jarmusch film he plays Officer Ronald Peterson? Got me thinking about that Friends episode. Reader gets pulled over for speeding and tries flirting her way out of it. “Sorry Officer mm Pretty? Was I speeding?” Blushes “It’s Paterson” Then he looks at your driving license and says “Oh I see your a (your star sign)” The reader like “I bet your a Scorpio, with eyes like yours” 🦄

I have seen them, and last weekend I even looked up the one where he has the machete to show my friend so she could die, too.

I can see that scene so vividly. And frankly I don’t have anything else to add to it.

* * *

[Answer on tumblr ](https://awkward-radar-tech.tumblr.com/post/182328989792/have-you-seen-the-photos-of-adam-in-that-new-jim)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of us don’t know much about Ronnie yet :( can you tell us about him? What’s his habits, hobbies, personality like?

I know, it feels weird knowing stuff you all don’t know yet, I feel like I’m in on a secret to the general population. Is this how the cast and crew of Avengers and Star Wars feel like? Anyways, it is 3 am and I’m hopped up on that wonderful drug called insomnia, so I’m ready to ramble about my favorite zombie slaying cop Officer Ronald “Ronnie” Peterson.

🚓🚓🚓

Ronnie is sarcastic as hell. It is evident in the trailers, but oof, he is the best. The way he says “yuck” to something gross is endearing and hilarious. The bitch loves his mother fucking star wars, has a whole ass metal star destroyer keychain, which means he likes the dark side. He does break the 4th wall many times so that means maybe he ~knows~ about playing Kylo Ren, especially since most of this was shot right before he peaced out from normal life to film 9. It is mentioned he used to play baseball, and you know, the saying I grew up with is that the only sport with better butts than baseball is hockey. Ronnie is a terrible flirt, just wow, but not like the cringy terrible, the funny and adorable terrible. He seems close to a bumbling oaf, but is probably actually really smart. Not really about who he is, but the thought of Ronnie zipping around Centerville in his convertible smart car is hilarious. He seems like a good friend, but also won’t sugar coat anything, when his crush Mindy is freaking out and asks to be reassured that things will be alright he straight up says that he doesn’t think that they will. He really likes the theme song “The Dead Don’t Die” by Sturgill Simpson.

He is amazing and there is a reason he is tied for third in my personal ranking of Adam’s characters.

* * *

[Answer on tumblr ](https://awkward-radar-tech.tumblr.com/post/185426558222/most-of-us-dont-know-much-about-ronnie-yet-can)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ronnie likes Star Wars, does he like to dress up as anyone and go to conventions?

He obviously loves the empire, so he likes to dress as an officer. But! He is definitely one of those guys who would dress in a slave Leia outfit. He tried on his friend’s once as a joke and ended up loving it even though it was too small, so he made his own.

* * *

[Answer on tumblr ](https://awkward-radar-tech.tumblr.com/post/186021160937/ronnie-likes-star-wars-does-he-like-to-dress-up)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a thought that Ronnie would be into the slave Leia outfit thing like he's get his over half to dress up in it. But him wearing it omg!! Someone needs to draw that!! Dosn't sims have a Leia outfit not sure if it's the slave one though?

I apologize, I’m not that good of an artist to draw it.

I don’t think Ronnie would be into his SO wearing the outfit for sexy times, but at a con where they are both wearing the same thing?? Perfect.

The sims have the white Leia dress, a Darth Vader costume, and a rebellion pilot.

* * *

[Answer on tumblr ](https://awkward-radar-tech.tumblr.com/post/186032942877/i-had-a-thought-that-ronnie-would-be-into-the)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I watched the Dead Don't Die at last! Ronnie question... He dosn't like coffee and doughnuts in the afternoon and I'm not sure he'd be like Paterson and have a drink before bed. So what does Ronnie like/do to chill after work?

He likes to fix himself a meal if he is hungry, then he turns on the TV and watches whatever is on either Discovery channel or History channel for an hour. After that hour he washes dishes and one day a week he also does laundry. Depending on his energy after doing said chores he either returns to watching the TV or turns it off and heads off to bed.

He doesn’t like to do much in the public eye after work since he always has to be on while there, which is why he just parties at home by himself.

* * *

[Answer on tumblr ](https://awkward-radar-tech.tumblr.com/post/186169079282/i-watched-the-dead-dont-die-at-last-ronnie)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What pet animal would Ronnie have?

I’ve mentioned this before but I’ll build on what I’ve said!

Ronnie seems like the kind of guy to have exotic fish he takes excellent care of and a bearded dragon or a bird. He checks the ph of the tank after every shift and when he wakes up, and he would make sure the temperature is perfect with the use of tank heaters. The same attention to detail would go into his care of his lizard or bird (I can’t decide which he would have, but not both).

* * *

[Answer on tumblr ](https://awkward-radar-tech.tumblr.com/post/186356975742/what-pet-animal-would-ronnie-have-ive-mentioned)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Ronnie would bounce up and down in his gold bikini so we could watch his tiddies bounce! hehe

Ronnie would bounce up and down so he could see it! He would also flex each pec to make it wiggle. He knows he looks good and he owns it, it is hard to embarrass him. But don’t worry, he is so self absorbed he doesn’t notice the others asking him to bounce are flirting with him, and would never flirt back, because he loves you!

* * *

[Answer on tumblr ](https://awkward-radar-tech.tumblr.com/post/186357053522/do-you-think-ronnie-would-bounce-up-and-down-in)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How much time do you think Ronnie would take to pick up the courage to show the person he likes... that he likes them?

Ronnie is definitely a flirter by nature, but he doesn’t recognize that. He definitely starts flirting with his crush way before he decides to start really showing interest. On average it takes Ronnie two meetings to begin unknowingly flirting, and at least a month of regular communication before he knowingly flirts and shows he likes you. And the difference is noticeable, as soon as he starts showing interest he becomes such a mess and before he was smooth as hell.

* * *

[Answer on tumblr ](https://awkward-radar-tech.tumblr.com/post/186378011802/how-much-time-do-you-think-ronnie-would-take-to)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What if you ask Ronnie to go watch TOS with you!!! That be funny! What kind of Star Wars fan do you think he is? Do you think he likes all the Star Wars ships and books and toys or do you think if like the romantic ships and looks at blogs and fan art?

Ronnie would loose his shit if you asked him to go see 9 (I'm assuming the R got eaten in your ask) with you, especially if you got tickets to the midnight show, because who cares about sleep when there is Star Wars. You've definitely had to console him over the use of the phrase "the story of a generation is coming to an end" and he cried after watching each teaser, so you know tissues are a must for December.  
I think Ronnie is a general Star Wars fan, and loves everything. He favors the dark side though, and Darth Vader is his favorite character. I think he has this weird knowledge about every vehicle in the Star Wars universe, and loves any form of star cruiser the most. As for relationship/romantic ships, I feel he only likes the ones given in cannon, and isn't one to ship other characters (although he is dead set on the fact that Lando and Han were at least friends with benefits, if not boyfriends, at some point). His main wish was that, as much as he loves Vader, Anakin wasn't such a little bitch and didn't turn and harm Padme so they could've become a happy family facing all the galaxy had to throw at them together.

* * *

[Answer on tumblr ](https://awkward-radar-tech.tumblr.com/post/187534591017/what-if-you-ask-ronnie-to-go-watch-tos-with-you)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Ronnie takes you to Batuu, what drinks does he buy?

He gets both milks, some orbular sodas (idc if they are actually thermal detonators, they are soda orbs in my heart), and in the cantina I feel he would get The Outer Rim and Jedi Mind Trick (he is a big guy so the tequila and vodka don't affect him too much).

* * *

[Answer on tumblr ](https://awkward-radar-tech.tumblr.com/post/187534726537/when-ronnie-takes-you-to-batuu-what-drinks-does)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's Ronnie attitude towards Halloween when Centerville gets it's spooky makeover?

Ronnie is a hoe for Halloween. This man has a passion for it. One time he visited LA in September and lost his shit when he saw most places already decorated for Halloween, and since he was alone nobody has to know he shrieked like an excited child when a local told him the stores get decorations in August, some even in June/July. After that he sets up his decorations after Labor Day, and patiently waits for a month until tiny Centerville begins to get new decorations in the store and setting up decorations. He even has a fake jack o lantern he sets on his desk at the station. He dresses up and hands out candy to all the kids, and adults, in town when he isn't working. When he is working he may or may not have fake vampire teeth in, Cliff and Mindy tell him not to wear them so he just doesn't talk when they are in his mouth, Cliff and Mindy like this.

* * *

[Answer on tumblr ](https://awkward-radar-tech.tumblr.com/post/187536319852/whats-ronnie-attitude-towards-halloween-when)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random HCs I posted with no prompting!

  * Ronnie likes to spoil you as much as he can
  * Not just with buying you stuff, he likes to pamper you at home, too. He'd spend the whole day giving you massages, doing your nails how you like, cuddling you, and definitely a few orgasms if you'd like.
  * His goal since meeting you is to make you smile as much as he possibly can.
  * When you're upset his mission is to cheer you up as quickly as possible. He will find memes, videos of baby animals being cute and doing silly things, he'll explain how he sees you as the most beautiful person to ever exist using as many cheesey metaphors and examples as possible, hell, if you'll let him touch you he will hug you close and blow raspberries into your neck just to hear you giggle.
  * He keeps lists on his phone about everything you like. He has one about your favorite foods, what you like to order from different places, things you say you like or want while out shopping, your favorite flowers and scents. He also has a list of things you dislike and hate.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Ronnie is super eco friendly?

No, he lives in a tiny town that doesn't like change, which would make it very hard for him. He definitely carries around a metal straw with him and only uses reusable bags though. And he does his best to save water and electricity at home.

* * *

[Answer on tumblr ](https://awkward-radar-tech.tumblr.com/post/188234850167/do-you-think-ronnie-is-super-eco-friendly-no-he)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What kind of house does Ronnie have?

I feel like he has a cute little New England cottage to match his tiny car. The main floor has a small kitchen, a living/dining room combo, full bath, and a guest room he puts all his star wars merch, then the upstairs (a finished attic) is his room and a half bath.

* * *

[Answer on tumblr ](https://awkward-radar-tech.tumblr.com/post/188241909827/what-kind-of-house-does-ronnie-have-i-feel-like)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What kind of food does Ronnie smell of? Also what kind of everyday clothes do you think Ronnie wears?

Ronnie smells like maple syrup and coffee. Basically, he smells like breakfast.  
For every day clothes I feel like he wears plain t-shirts and graphic tees, with jeans or shorts depending on the whether.

* * *

[Answer on tumblr ](https://awkward-radar-tech.tumblr.com/post/188302466702/what-kind-of-food-does-ronnie-smell-of-also-what)


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel really nervous about seeing TROS so I need some Ronnie comfort to get me through this!

Ronnie, the sweetheart, is not emotionally ready for TROS. Being just a general fan of the franchise he doesn't give one fuck about any fandom shit, not about ships, redemption, nothing. Does he have opinions on it all? Yes. But he has absolutely zero emotional attachment to any of it. He is just not ready for the Skywalker saga to end. He is bringing a whole tissue box to the theater when you go. Afterwards you will cry sesh in his smart car and he will comfort you about anything you need. But he has one thing he has repeated to you and himself constantly since celebration, "it is just a movie. One we are emotionally invested in, but it affects nothing past that."

* * *

[Answer on tumblr ](https://awkward-radar-tech.tumblr.com/post/189518412652/i-feel-really-nervous-about-seeing-tros-so-i-need)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got my first pair of glasses (although I'm lucky I don't need to wear them all the time, but now I can read sign post clearer lol) can I have some fluff with Ronnie please about getting them? Also why are glasses always get so smudgy quickly? Do yo think anti glare is worth getting?

Oooh! Glasses! I remember when I first got glasses and was like “wow! I can see!” I also didn’t notice my vision was bad until we went to the eye doctor, and I turned to my mom and was like “I think I’m getting glasses this time” and thus began my journey of being blind to things far away… anyways! I don’t know why glasses get smudges when you swear you haven’t touched them! Or when you pull them out from the case and swore they were fine when you put them in. And I’ve only ever had anti-glare coated lenses, so if you can afford it get it, I’m sure glare is worse without it.

Now! Onto Ronnie, my second be speckled love!

—

He sat in his car waiting for you. You told him to just wait outside and that you would come out on your own. He was taking you to see a movie in the city, since there was no theater in town. He smiled when he saw you and got out to open the car door for you. When he sat back down he leaned over for a small peck.

He smiled at you, “How are you, honey?”

You hummed, “I’m alright. I uh had to go back to the optometrist today.”

He gave you a questioning look, and you pulled the glasses case from your bag.

“I didn’t have 20/20 distance vision anymore. So I need glasses.”

He smiled, “put them on, I wanna see!”

You did just that, “I got ones that look like yours, because I love the look.”

“We’re matching!”

He gave you another kiss and chuckled, “You look _so_ hot in those, babe.”

You’re cheeks warmed, “You think so?”

He nodded, “Definitely. Let’s go make put in the back of a dark theater.”

You laughed and agreed, “Please.”

* * *

[Answer on tumblr](https://awkward-radar-tech.tumblr.com/post/190846919367/i-got-my-first-pair-of-glasses-although-im-lucky)


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 40\. “It’s 4am . . . why the hell are you in the closet with a butcher knife? … Right. Well, no more scary movie marathons for you.” with Ronnie? Thanks!

He heard a rustling come from the small, barely walk-in closet. He immediately jumped awake and grabbed his glasses and flash light. He didn’t notice you weren’t in bed. He shined the light into the closet and saw your back.

He groaned, his groggy catching up with him and checked the time, “Darling. Sweetheart. It’s 4 am.” He moved closer to the closet door and noticed the knife, “Why the _hell _are you in the closet _with_ a butcher’s knife?”

You looked at him, a bit shy, “I heard scratching coming from inside the walls. I needed to check it out.”

He took the knife from you, “Right. Well, no more scary movie marathons for you.”

After putting the knife back where it belongs he crawled back into bed and pulled you close, kissing your cheek, “You know there is a family of rats or squirrels living in the walls. Now just rest, I’ll protect you.”

You smiled in the darkness and kissed him, “Thank you Ronnie.”

You cuddled up close and he did in fact keep you safe the rest of the night. And you were never listening to your friends that a scary movie marathon is a good idea for friend night.

* * *

[Answer on tumblr](https://awkward-radar-tech.tumblr.com/post/616087255184031744/40-its-4am-why-the-hell-are-you-in-the)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 34\. "Dude-did you really just throw salt at me? I'm not possessed!" with Ronnie please?

He had just finished telling you about the dream he had last night where he was in a zombie apocalypse but he knew what was going on and kept breaking the fourth wall of his own dream. And you had got up to go get yourself some juice. Then he heard your footsteps and something sprinkle on him, and then you laughing.

He touched his neck and looked at the grains on his hand, “Dude… did you really just throw salt at me? I’m not possessed!”

You stood away from him, still chuckling, “Well that dream was too damn detailed for it to have not to come from some other being, Ronnie.”

“Well, nothing happened, so I’m not possessed.”

You went back to sit with him, “Or they like salt.”

He kissed you, “Or they like salt.”

You looked at him, “Do you like salt?”

“I love it. Especially when it is on your skin.” He took some, rubbed it on your neck, then kissed it off.

You smiled, “Ronnie!”

He chuckled, “Well, maybe the being inside me has to _come_ out a different way.”

You yelped when he picked you up, and began to laugh again, “Well, it is worth a shot.”

* * *

[Answer on tumblr](https://awkward-radar-tech.tumblr.com/post/616146474497130496/34-dude-did-you-really-just-throw-salt-at-me)

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr, awkward-radar-tech!  
Thank you for reading! Feel free to comment or message me on Tumblr, I like to know what people think of my fics!


End file.
